The Lego Batman Movie

The Lego Batman Movie

Rating: ★★★★★

Time: 104 minutes

Rotten Tomatoes: 90%

Censorship Rating: PG

Cast: Will Arnett – Batman,  Michael Cera – Robin, Rosario Dawson – Batgirl/ Barbara Gordon, Ralph Fiennes – Alfred Pennyworth, Siri – ‘Puter, Zach Galifianakis – Joker

Did I like this movie? Hell, yeah!

This movie is completely ridiclous – if you want a serious superhero story this is not the movie for you. I feel like people who like Brooklyn Nine-Nine would like this, it’s dumb and it’s the complete opposite of what a superhero should be.

I’m still unsure whether or not the actual lego aspect of the film, I’m not totally sure whether I enjoyed it. I guess the lego does help to enhance the comical aspect of it but at certain points it did become a bit distracting.

Image result for the lego batman movie cast

What I Liked:

  • The humour; it’s my kind of stuff
  • Will Arnett’s voice perfectly encapsulates Batman
  • It’s one of the few DC films I’ve actually enjoyed
  • This is the school holiday movie that parents will actually want to take their children to. Lego Batman is for all ages, seriously I was laughing my ass off the whole time.

Image result for the lego batman movie cast

What I Disliked:

  • Why the heck was Ralph Fiennes not the voice for Voldemort?
  • I can’t think of anything else, lol.

Overall:

 

  • This is a really funny movie and you should totally see it if you haven’t already.

 

SCHEDULED ON: 07/04/2017


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CARAVAL [REVIEW]

Caraval (Caraval #1) by Stephanie Garber

my rating : ★★★★★

genre : fantasy

goodreads rating : 4.08

Caraval (Caraval, #1)

**SPOILERS**

It feels like such a long time since I have read a fantasy book that I really loved. 

SYNOPSIS

Remember, it’s only a game…

Scarlett Dragna has never left the tiny island where she and her sister, Tella, live with their powerful, and cruel, father. Now Scarlett’s father has arranged a marriage for her, and Scarlett thinks her dreams of seeing Caraval—the faraway, once-a-year performance where the audience participates in the show—are over.

But this year, Scarlett’s long-dreamt-of invitation finally arrives. With the help of a mysterious sailor, Tella whisks Scarlett away to the show. Only, as soon as they arrive, Tella is kidnapped by Caraval’s mastermind organizer, Legend. It turns out that this season’s Caraval revolves around Tella, and whoever finds her first is the winner.

Scarlett has been told that everything that happens during Caraval is only an elaborate performance. Nevertheless she becomes enmeshed in a game of love, heartbreak, and magic. And whether Caraval is real or not, Scarlett must find Tella before the five nights of the game are over or a dangerous domino effect of consequences will be set off, and her beloved sister will disappear forever.

Welcome, welcome to Caraval…beware of getting swept too far away.


THE CHARACTERS 


I find, as I’m writing this review that it’s really hard for me to write positive reviews, so I’m sorry but this will probably be quite short.

THE FATHER

This guy, oh my god let me tell you. He is literally the definition of a monster.His wife dies adn so he becomes this horrible strict control freak? Dude’s got issues, and two daughters. Basically, if one of his daughters ever does something that he views as out of line then he punishes them. Let’s say, for example, that Scarlett stayed out too late or said she didn’t want to get married anymore, her father would punish her by beating her sister Donatella. Charming, right? I can see why the girls want to get off the island.

SCARLETT

Scarlett is the elder sister, she’s supposed to be the sensible one who does no wrong and says nothing when her father forces her into an arranged marriage. and, yeah, when we first meet her that’s who she is. However, as the story progresses we really see her start to embrace herself more and come out of her shell. I’ve seen a lot of criticisms of Scarlett’s character, which I understand, but personally I really liked her. I didn’t mind that it took her the majority of the story to become fearless – but even then, Scarlett still had her worries. I really liked this because I thought it really stayed true to her character, for most of her life Scarlett has basically been raised to be this flower petal who always does the right thing and then next thing she knows she’s being kidnapped by her own sister and a man she’s never met. Of course, she can’t just shake off literally a life’s worth of lecturing and threats in a few pages.

DONATELLA

Okay so she can be a bit annoying at times but she’s pretty much kidnapped right off the dot (not a spoiler, don’t worry!) so we don’t have to deal with her much. She’s pretty much the typical younger sister – young, rash and too trusting.

JULIAN

Who doesn’t love a mysterious bad boy who just can’t seem to stay away? I really loved his character and found learning about him throughout the novel to be really rewarding, and I think he’ll be an even more interesting character in book 2.

CARAVAL

Fight me, the carnival felt ike a character in and of itself.


THE BOOK 


Guys, this book had so many plot twists honestly by the time you finish reeling from the first twist there’s another!

This is honestly like nothing I’ve read in a while, the writing is brilliant and the author talks in colours which was something I found I really loved. The writing is so surreal and really suited the world.

Basically, this book will have you yelling “is this real life or just fantasy!”

I really loved this book, the writing is to die for, the characters are amazing and have their own unique qualities and the world is mid-boggling and astounding!

Sorry guys, this review was really lack-luster and I’m not proud of it. I’m sick and I’m tired but don’t let this crappy “review” fool you, this is truly a fantastic book!

Beauty and The Beast // 2017 Live-Action

Beauty and The Beast // 2017 Live-Action

Rating: ★★★★★

Time: 129 minutes

Rotten Tomatoes: 71%

Censorship Rating: PG

Cast: Emma Watson – Belle, Dan Stevens – Beast, Luke Evans – Gaston, Josh Gad – LeFou, Kevin Kline – Maurice,  Haydn Gwynne – Clothilde, Ewan McGregor – Lumière, Ian McKellen – Cogsworth, Emma Thompson – Mrs. Potts

Beauty and the Beast

I don’t usually post so many things in one week but I saw the film on Sunday and I really wanted to get my review out as soon as possible.

Also this review does contain spoilers so don’t kill me if you read something you shouldn’t have.

HOW DOES IT COMPARE TO THE 1991 FILM?
  • Growing up Beauty and The Beast was my favourite film, so of course when I heard that they were making a live-action I died. A live-action of my favourite movie of all time? No thanks Disney. And then, then I heard who had been cast as Belle, and let me tell you I was suddenly so ready for this movie, there may have been squealing.
  • Okay so as a comparison I would give it a 70% pass rate, however, as a movie by itself it is more like a 90 or 95.
  • Obviously if I were to compare the two films, this version would not be a great copy. In this version of the film Belle is more the inventor than her father and there are other little differences, like the amount of books available in the village and Le Fou’s sexuality.
  • Also, while I’m on the topic – Why the F is everyone making such a fuss about this? Didn’t we all secretly know? I mean come on, a man doesn’t trail after another man and then sing him compliments for 3 minutes straight without at least having a crush on the other! I really don’t understand this, we are in 2017 and if you don’t like it then don’t watch it.
  • In the film, Le Fou dances with a man for maybe 2 seconds of screen time and that’s it. Done, wow China are you so glad you made the movie PG 16?
THOUGHTS
  • I have so many thoughts but as always I didn’t write any of them down and I already talked about it with my mum and therefore, have forgotten half of my opinions on the film. I guess this really shows why my reviews are usually so bad.Image result for facepalm meme
  • This was actually a rather funny movie, I felt like The Beast and Belle had a lot more chemistry this time round so when they had their little jokes together it felt a lot smoother. The interaction between the other characters is also what made the movie so good – the friendship between Lumière and Cogsworth was hilarious and the other little quirks throughout the film with Gaston and Le Fou made the movie so much more enjoyable.

Things I liked:

  • the characters
  • the music
  • the diverse cast – we had at least two main interracial couples
  • Belle really stood up for herself – thank you Emma Watson!
  • EVERMORE
  • We got more backstory!

Things I Disliked:

  • Emma sounded a bit autotuned at the start when she sang, that may have just been an effect of the speakers in the cinema, I don’t know.
  • Some things didn’t make complete sense but oh well.
MAJOR CHANGES

There were some pretty big changes made for the film, most of which I was cool with.

  • One big change made for the film wasn’t really a change so much as it was a completely new addition to the storyline. We find out at the start of the film that all the villagers have forgotten who Prince Adam is and that his castle has been secluded away from the village and is basically stuck in a permanent winter hell-land, adorned with demon sculptures and an eerie setting.
  • There was Le Fou’s sexuality which I was so on board with you don’t even know.
  • There were also some new songs but I loved them so you want here any negativity from me!
  • Belle is now the inventor! I cannot explain how happy this makes me, instead of doing the washing Belle makes a washing machine, using a donkey, a barrel and some rope, she’s a genius!
  • She tried to escape the castle instead of just staying put in her room. She fashions an escape rope out of sheets and ribbon and almost uses it but of course Mrs Potts convinces her to stay.
  • The other big change was Gaston. Crazy, right? Wrong, Gaston isn’t completely different but somehow the guy managed to become more of an ass. He’s obsessed with himself (nothing different there?) and he is willing to kill someone in order to prove that he’s the most manly of them all. But I must say the guy can sing!
THE MUSIC
  • My favourite song was definitely Evermore, sung by The Beast (Dan Stevens), I’ve actually been listening to it on repeat as I write my review. My love for the song has actually really surprised me as I expected to hate the new songs made for the film.
  • I have to say that the music was probably my favourite thing about the film. They didn’t use the entirety of every old song but they used little parts here and there throughout the movie and they really made it work.
WILL I SEE THE MOVIE AGAIN?
  • Definitely, in fact I expect I’ll be seeing it again sometime this week. I’m currently on holidays so I’ve got the time.
  • I think this is definitely a movie I’ll be re-watching constantly when it comes out on DVD.

UPDATE 14/04/2017: I actually saw the movie again last night and I loved it so it’s definitely rewatchable.

SCHEDULED 09/04/2017

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Sleeping Giants

Sleeping Giants (Themis Files #1) by Sylvain Neuvel

my rating: ★★★★☆

genre: adult, science-fiction

goodreads rating: 3.83

Sleeping Giants (Themis Files, #1)

**SPOILERS**

Sleeping Giants is the first book in a series and it certainly feels that way. As I read this book I certainly got the impression that while it had it’s own plot, it certainly had more story to it.

Also, I should probably mention that this isn’t a young adult book. it has some stronger themes. A teen could certainly read it , but the characters are all adults and so they are generally more mature and tend not to shy away from talk of sex or violence.

PLOT 

This is a strange story, told through a series of interviews and files. Sleeping Giants starts with a young girl on her birthday who sneaks off with her new bike  . She then cycles off into the woods and falls into a massive metal hand.  Seventeen years later, the girl and a team of scientists and soldiers are all working together to see if there is anything more to the hand.

That’s a really lacking summary but it’s hard to go any further into the story without spoiling the plot, it’s best to go into the story without knowing too much.

MY THOUGHTS 

What I really liked about this novel, aside from the awesome plot is the way it’s told. The story is told in a series of case fils and interviews. What makes these so interesting though, is that the interviewer is an anonymous characters – we have no idea who they are. From the audiobook, because it has a full cast, we can suppose that the character is male because the narrator for the character is male, but really who knows. It’s a really intriguing premise, not knowing who a character takes the whole story to a whole nother level.

We soon find out that the team, lead by ROse Franklin (the little girl who fell into the hand) are actually using the metal hand and the intricate symbols carved into it, to try and find other body parts that might be buried in other parts of the world. The Government soon becomes involved, and because the parts are buried all over the world the robot soon becomes an interest to countries all over the world, and really gets you hooked in. Will this robot cause WWIII? How many people are going to die for this robot to form?

My only issue that I really had with the book was that I felt it difficult to connect with the characters. I had this same problem with Illuminae, which is told in the same format. I think that because o the way it’s told I just don’t have enough access to the emotions or thought process of the characters which really makes it difficult to understand their motivations or feelings.


SCHEDULED ON 04/04/2017

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Fifty Shades Darker [Review]

Fifty Shades Darker (Fifty Shades #2) – E. L. James

my rating : 2/5

genre : adult, erotica

goodreads rating : 3.88

Fifty Shades Darker (Fifty Shades, #2)

** MAJOR SPOILERS **


QUICK OVERVIEW OF MY FEELINGS

  • The writing for this one was slightly better, and the plot was certainly more interesting. The relationship between Anastasia and Christian is really rocky and unstable, it’s really unhealthy and just plain unsettling. I just don’t think I can ever get behind this relationship.
  • The plot is really quite predictable, and I understand that’s because this is Twilight fanfiction BUT STILL.

THE RELATIONSHIP & THE CHARACTERS

I don’t know guys, I read the first book in this trilogy because I’d just seen the movie and I was curious. I had some pretty strong opinions about book one and I didn’t know how it could get any more intense.

In the end of Fifty Shades of Grey Ana left Christian and so naturally when we start this novel Ana is going through her ‘New Moon’ phase and is depressed because she needs a man to survive blah blah blah. In this instalment Christian tries going down the vanilla road – he’s still moody as all hell and doesn’t understand personal space.

Ladies, Christian Grey truly is 50 shades of fucked up. If you are one of the few who have fallen for this man, I urge you to please think about your boyfriend goals. This man is unstable, he does unforgivable things and he is completely unempathetic.

Oh my, it’s my dream man. He’s crazy with a side of fries and he utters the worst romanticisms this side of a Nicholas Sparks novel.  Via Katrina Passick Lumsden on Goodreads

They. Are. Getting. Married. After just over a month. You can’t meet someone, fall in love with them and then decide to get married in just under two months. It’s just downright ridiculous and unrealistic.

It’s not only the relationship between Anastasia and Christian that is completely unrealistic but it’s also just the little things you learn about the characters. Christian earns roughly $100,000 every hour, has a personal trainer (who I don’t think we ever actually meet during the two months) and the body of a Greek god. And yet he is constantly drinking wine, eats bacon and eggs all the time and other fatty foods. Nobody can have his body and eat the way he does. He is also the Ceo of his own company, and yet all he ever seems to do is email Ana, misuse company vehicles and put in maybe 2 hours of work each day.

Ana

I actually was starting to like Ana by the end of the first novel, she was getting her life together and was starting to realise how uncomfortable she was around Christian – I mean, she was genuinely afraid of him. When she finally left him I honestly felt really happy for her, although I will admit I much preferred the scene from the movie. Actually, in general I think I prefer the movies.

But, in this novel Ana loses that, she may be a bit more comfortable around Christian but she is still the overly shy and pathetic character she was when we first met her. She willingly puts herself right back into an abusive relationship – into the arms of an abusive and manipulative man who we later learn was only attracted to her at first because she looked like his drug-abused and long-dead mother.

I just don’t get it, Ana supposedly has men constantly flinging themselves at her so why couldn’t she get together with one of them? Why couldn’t she be in a nice simple relationship with someone who doesn’t want to manipulate her and track her every move. She is surrounded by guards, constantly told what to do, where to go and when to eat and/or sleep. She is not allowed to drive the car he bought for her, he doesn’t like that she enjoys working (he wants to keep her in his mansion-loft-rich-people-home for all eternity) and doesn’t want her to go out to see her close friends. It’s his way or the high way, and honestly, were it me, I would choose the highway.

Oh, and just to add to the things in this book that are unrealistic. Ana’s work ethic. She comes to work late, leaves when she likes and is constantly on her phone or computer emailing Christian. I know Hyde is a horrible person and I’ll get to that later, but if I was her boss I would firs her ass! Granted, when she actually buckles down and does her work she seems to be quite good at it.


THE BOSS

Lol so his name is Jack Hyde? HYDE – It was painfully obvious that he was going to be “evil”.

This guy is so creepy, and I know that was the point. This man was created as a barrier between Christin and Anastasia  – he serves as the plot device to cause a rift between Ana and Christian and also as a threat to Anastasia.

We’ll meet him in the next book I’m sure. I know there’s something deeper going on with him that probably has something to do with Christian (because what doesn’t) so it should be interesting at least to see where his storyline goes.

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Bitch Planet Vol. 1 [REVIEW]

Bitch Planet Volume 1 – Kelly Sue DeConnick (Writer), Valentine De Landro (Artist) & Robert Wilson IV (Artist)

my rating : 4/5

genre : dystopia, feminism

goodreads rating : 4.11

Bitch Planet, Vol. 1: Extraordinary Machine

**SPOILERS**

I really loved this, but at the same time it made me SO MAD!

What really scares me is that this story is a potential future for women. Sure, the men probably won’t ship us off to a whole other planet (or would they?) but I’m sure of them would really like to.

What I find most interesting about this comic is that while I was reading this I stated explaining it to my mum and she said to me “You know we’d be on that planet,right?” And it sort of hit me, like, yeah I would be on that planet, I’m not great at conforming and I really don’t want to be.

I urge you guys to pick this comic up. It’s an eye-opening experience. Women in real life are constantly g=being told to conform to this mold society has put in place for them.

We already have women on the news having to look perfect, the tight clothes, the makeup, the colour schemes. Where, it has not got to the point that women are literally stressing about everyone wearing the same colour. You all know what I’m talking about. Yeah, sure that was funny for about 5 seconds but these women are being grilled about their appearance so much that these things do happen – more often then we know, I’m sure.

This is such an empowering story. In fact, there’s a scene in this comic where Penny is supposed to be shown her ideal body – a skinny version of herself, basically. And do you know what she sees? She sees herself, just as she is. This is such an important scene – it shows that even in a world where men control everything, women can still believe in themselves and rebel in their own ways.

There was also another scene that I really wanted to talk about, because this scene really disturbed me, more than most of the things that happened in this comic. This is a world, where sure men and women get married all the time but a man taking advice from his wife is frowned upon. They see this is a bad thing – like, how dare she give him advice – as if he needs that. Ultimately they end up sending her to Bitch Planet (a jail for women) because a women giving her husband, or any man for that matter, advice send the “wrong idea”.

I implore you guys to give this one a shot – it won’t change your life but it will make you take a minute to see how we close we really are to having our very own “Bitch Planet”.


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Fifty Shades of Grey [REVIEW]

Fifty Shades of Grey – E. L. James

my rating : 2/5

genre : adult, erotica

goodreads rating : 3.67

Fifty Shades of Grey (Fifty Shades, #1)

**MAJOR SPOILERS**

I would like to start this review off by saying that I am in no way trying to belittle or insult anyone who enjoyed this novel. I understand that the author wrote this for herself as fanfiction and never expected it to gain the fame it has today. These are purely my opinions and I really hope that no one feels offended by this review.

The first few things I want to get out of the way quickly. The writing in this book is not good, at all. This novel reads like fanfiction, at some points in the novel I found myself saying “Did a twelve year old write this?”

And second, I will go into this a bit more later on but, the relationship between Anastasia and Christian is not healthy in the least.

This trilogy has sold 125 million copies worldwide (June 2015) and has been translated into 25 languages. So naturally you can understand why I felt inclined to read it, right? I’ll admit that I was curious, I tried to read it a few years ago and could only get roughly 6 chapters in before I gave up – the writing is bad guys! But, because the second film was coming out this month the first film was on  TV. I hadn’t been planning on watching it, heck, I didn’t even know it was on! ( I really don’t watch TV at all) But my mum really wanted to watch it so I decided to watch it with her!

I’ll be honest I didn’t hate the film – don’t get me wrong I certainly didn’t love it, but it wasn’t as bad as I had imagined. And, to be completely honest I’m probably going to see the second film this month.


ANASTASIA STEELE & CHRISTIAN GREY

“Anastasia,” he says as a farewell.
“Christian,” I reply. And mercifully, the doors close.

ANASTASIA STEELE

I am so conflicted about this woman. At points I heard myself saying “You go, girl!” Ana was not meant to ever be a *Sub – she’s not good at obeying orders and doesn’t really like being told what to do. Naturally, she gets into the most complicated relationship known to man, with a *Dom.

Ana is a complicated character, on the surface she seems quite weak and quiet but, in reality, yes she’s quiet a lot of the time but by the end of this book she really comes into her own. Ana starts off the book not really knowing what she’s doing, having never been a relationship and just sort of drifting by.

Ana is a college student, she is days away from graduating and that’s when she meets, the one, the only: Christian Grey. And from then on her life tips upside down.

My inner goddess glares at me, tapping her small foot impatiently. She’s been ready for this for years, and she’s ready for anything with  Christian Grey…

I don’t hate Ana as a character, in fact I really have very little to say about her but I have to mention the thing that bugged me most about her – something that i think alo bugged a lot of other readers. Her inner goddess. Excuse me while I barf! This whole thing completely freaked me out – her inner goddess is to my understanding, her subconscious. I really didn’t like these parts of her character at all, not only did it serve to make her character seem even more immature than she already seemed, it also made her come across as a bit ditsy (at least in my eyes).

“Not having… sex.” There – I said the word. I blush – of course.

Oh, and that reminds me – Ana’s immaturity was a big no, no for me. Ana has landed herself in this relationship that is completely new to her, in every aspect. Constant sex, constant – why the hell won’t this girl talk about her body parts? On one level, I get it, okay everyone get’s self-conscious but this chick says stuff like “down… there.” I just don’t understand how a 23 year old can still to be able to say the word vagina or sex, even in her head.

CHRISTIAN GREY

Ah, yes this fellow. Now, what can I say about this man that hasn’t already been said?

Mr. Grey is an interesting man – I would not like to meet him but I think he would be a gift to any psychologist who could tolerate him. This guy has some baggage, he was brought up in a horrible environment up until the age of four, until he was rescued by his adoptive mother, Grace. Later on in his life, around the age of fifteen he got ono the wrong path in life and that was when he met the legendary “Mrs Robinson”. Shoot me in the leg, this woman sexually abused him from a young ge and then into his early twenties.

The thing that is most upsetting about this whole scenario is that Christian does not see it as child abuse he sees it as something he needed and as something that saved him. If I do a review of the second book I will expand on this because we really don’t learn too much about him in the first novel.

*Sub – Submissive – ready to conform to the authority or will of others; meekly obedient or passive.
*Dom – Dominant – having power and influence over others.


THE RELATIONSHIP

Okay, so we’ve finally made it. The relationship. Oh, boy, what a doozie! I have a lot of problems with the relationship between Ana and Christian, particularly in this first book.

Just, first off, this is Ana’s first ever relationship and holy crap  did she dive into the deep end first! So, Ana meets Mr. Grey and is all like holy cow what a superb man of character (I actually don’t remember what she said and I can’t be bothered to look for quotes). Anyway, so she’s gushing over him and then a few days later he just randomly turns up at her work (WHAT A COINCIDENCE) and decides “hey I’m on a random business trip don’t mind me while I stock up on some ROPE AND CABLE TIES” and Ana’s all like “he’s so dreamyyyy, what a hunk”.

At points in the novel Ana is made out to be a really intelligent character with a fantastic GPA and yet she doesn’t see the oh-so clear signs that she should keep away from this guy? He’s  dominating, creepy and he kinda seems like a serial killer (wink wink to The Fall).

THIS RELATIONSHIP IS NOT HEALTHY.

“I want to hurt you. But not beyond anything you couldn’t take.”

  • I’ll get into the stalking aspect of this later but let me tell you, I was not a fan!

“Please don’t be angry with me,” I whisper.

“Please don’t hit me,” I whisper, pleading.
His brow furrows, his eyes widening. He blinks twice.
“I don’t want you to spank me. Not here. Not now. Please don’t.”

  • Ana is not fully on board with the BDSM aspect of their relationship. Whenever she tries to make conversation with Christian or get him to talk about himself he completely shuts down the conversation with sex. He essentially manipulates her with sex in order to prolong the relationship.
  • Ana is afraid of Christian, and I’m not just saying that – she probably said it once every chapter once you got to the middle of the book.
  • She is not comfortable with the “punishments” Christian inflicts upon her and this only fuels her anxiety and recklessness around him.
  • Her roommate comments at some point through the book that Ana never cries and guess what? What do we see Ana doing when she’s not at work or having sex? Yep! You guessed it, she’s crying. I wonder why?
  • Christian never respects her boundaries, he takes her tampon out (BY THE WAY, BOYS NEVER EVER DO THAT) and then proceeds to shove (literally) himself right on up there in her personal space. He takes it upon himself to fly down to see her when she’s visiting her mum. Like, excuse me Mr. Look-at-me-I-own-a-plane she took this break to get away from you. Wtf are you doing? Not only that but on separate occasions throughout the book when she just needs a second to herself he proceeds to completely ignore her wishes and have his wicked way with her.

“It’s taking all my self-control not to fuck you on the hood of this car, just to show you that you’re mine, and if I want to buy you a fucking car, I’ll buy you a fucking car,” he growls.”

  • He feels entitled to her – like he owns her.


STALKING

And so it begins, the section of the review that I’ve been pumping myself to write for hours. The stalking of Anastasia Steele. 

I would like to preface this by saying that I do not find Christian Grey’s behaviour in any way romantic or compelling. I find his reasons childish and invasive.

I belatedly realise he’s not asked me where I live – yet he knows. But then he sent me the books, of course he knows where I live. What able, cellphone-tracking, hellicopter owning, stalker wouldn’t.

  • Earlier on in the novel Christian sends Anastasia some supermegaexpensive books – yaknow because he’s rich ‘n shit.
  • It doesn’t even really phase her that he found out her address.
  • Like, I’m sorry but if someone did that for me I’d be in another country by the morning (or at least I’d call the cops).

“I tracked your cell phone Anastasia.”
Oh, of course he did. How is that possible? Is it legal? Stalker, my subconscious whispers at me through the cloud of tequila that’s still floating in my brain, but somehow, because it’s him. I don’t mind.

I’m sorry, what? Because it’s him, you don’t mind? *proceeds to rage*

Okay, I’m back now.

  • This whole thing concerns me. When she’s not referring to him as her Fifty (Shades of Fucked Up) she is referring to him as her own personal stalker. There is something very wrong with this.
  • He tracks her cell like it’s nothing. And again, because he is the Christian Grey he gets away with it, because it’s him.
  • This sends a terrible message to younger readers, or any readers in general to be honest. This book basically says that it’s okay for someone to completely ignore and invade another person’s personal life and boundaries just because they want to.

 



WILL I READ THE NEXT BOOKS?

*coughs* I’ve already read the second book. I am currently reading the third book – I can’t say I’m too fussed on it. So far, the writing style has completely changed and Christian Grey is annoying me more than ever.

I just discovered, also that along with her rewrite of the first book – Grey, E. L. James will be releasing another book, which is a rewrite of Fifty Shades Darker only in Grey’s pov – WHATTTT. NOOOOOO. PLEASE STOP JAMES!! This leads me to believe she is going to complete the entire trilogy – what a waste of trees.



REVIEWS I REALLY ENJOYED

Link 1     —    Link 2


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A Series of Unfortunate Events

A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS SEASON 1 (2017)

Cast:

Neil Patrick Harris - Count Olaf, Patrick Warburton - Lemony Snicket
Malina Weissman  - Violet Baudelaire, Louis Hynes - Klaus Baudelaire 
K. Todd Freeman - Mr. Poe, Presley Smith - Sunny Baudelaire 
Will Arnett - Father, Cobie Smulders - Mother...

In 2015 I read the entire, thirteen book series by Lemony Snicket, A Series of Unfortunate Events. I can’t say that I loved the books but I really enjoyed the series and encourage all of you to watch it if you can!

This review is mostly going to be in bullet form because I find this format easier to use for tv reviews than my usual review format.

Rating: 10/10

Image result for a series of unfortunate events

* SPOILERS AHEAD *

The Bad Beginning - Episodes 1 & 2

The Bad Beginning (A Series of Unfortunate Events, #1)

The themes song: At first I wasn’t too sure about it – I didn’t think it necessarily fit the show, but a few episodes in I really started to love it. Now, it’s in my head all the time!

  • The dedication at the start made me really happy, it wasn’t explained for fans new to the story and I can’t wait to see more more mentions of Beatrice later in the series (I hope!).

To Beatrice – 

darling, dearest, 

dead.

  • Not to start off on a bad note but I’m finding the CGI of Sunny to be a bit strange.
  • Lemony Snicket is brilliant (PULL THE LEVER KRONK) and his commentary is amazing – his character serves as a sort of a guide through the plot. His narration is really fun and is one of my favourite parts of the show.
  •  EXCELLENT CASTING – I like Klaus a lot more than Violet – he’s more authentic that Violet or Sunny. Although I am growing to love the other characters throughout the episodes.
  • NPH is amazing as Olaf, the singing kind of thew me for a loop but he’ NPH of course he’s going to sing.
  • I hate Olaf but I really enjoy NPH’s portrayal – he is much better than Jim Carrey’s version (although, to be fair the film isn’t a favourite of mine.)
  • K. Todd Freeman as Mr Poe is amazing! So far I am really enjoying this version of Poe – I love that, like in the books he is constantly, it was just fun to see them really incorporate that.
  • The prents in the end were really unexpected but I really enjoyed seeing them – there part in the series was some of my favourite scenes from each episode. I really can’t wait to see more of the secret society in season 2!
  • The little easter eggs at the end in the sewer with the signs made me really happy.
  • It will be really interesting the see if they start incorporating VFD into the plot of season 2
The Reptile Room - Episodes 3 & 4

The Reptile Room (A Series of Unfortunate Events, #2)

This was one of my favourite books in the series so I was most excited to see this episode.

For Beatrice – 

My love for you shall live forever.

You, however, shall not.

  • Uncle Monty, played by Aasif Mandvi was one of my favourite characters – really loved his portrayal of Monty – loved his scenes with the kids – made them feel welcome whereas, the other adults treat them as children.
  • The actors really start growing into their characters which is rally nice to see.
  • The picture with the parents in the piano was really cool – I loved the fact that they included that Olaf took the picture
  • The kids are really sceptical – I love that the series actually shows that the kids are smart – the kids are very confused as to why their parents left these instructions, which to anyone with eyes really makse no sense.
  • Loved the scene with Mr Poe where Sunny was with the snake and he was running around the room yelling Help her! Don’t help her! Call the police, no don’t call the police! Help her!
  • I love the colouring of the show. As soon as the kids meet Monty the colour scheme is much brighter and happier because Monty represents a safe zone for the children – he is someone they can rely on and trust. Whereas, when he dies the colour scheme immediately darkens because the children no longer have that safe zone.
  • I really love the scenes with the parents – the mystery is really fun!
The Wide Window - Episodes 5 & 6

The Wide Window (A Series of Unfortunate Events, #3)

  • I want to kick start this by saying that I am loving the new intro for each two  part episode. They really bring something new to each episode and they are quite depressing which is fitting to the series!

For Beatrice – 

I would much prefer it

if you were alive and well.

  • This is one of my least favourite novels in the series so naturally this wasn’t one of my favourite episodes. But I definitely still loved it!
  • All of the hints to the secret society were really fun for me. You don’t really learn about the secret society until quite later on in the books so this is certainly fun for me.
  • I really thought the setting and the lighting for this episode was done really well. The colouring was quite dark because the story was getting darker and they don’t feel particularly safe. I don’t know, I just really love the attention to detail that is paid in this series.
  • Also, can we talk about this outfit? This made me laugh soo hard when I saw it – what the heck Mr Snicket?

Image result for lemony snicket the wide window netflix

The Miserable Mill - Episodes 7 & 8

The Miserable Mill (A Series of Unfortunate Events, #4)

To Beatrice – 

My love flew like a butterfly, 

until death swooped down like a bat.

  • *clears throat* THAT ENDING
  • Not my favourite episode.
  • I felt slightly let down when we first met Sir and he wasn’t surrounded by a cloud of smoke.
  • Charles and Sir are partners – I really enjoyed how Lmony Snicket explained how there are many different types of partners – a bit sad that they were the only queer characters and the relationship was unhealthy.
  • I felt a bit let down by Charles, he just didn’t feel like Charles – I’m not entirely sure why but he just didn’t float my boat (also it’s been a minute since I watched these episodes and I’m really tired).
  • Poor Klaus – I really loved how the actor handled his character not being able to  remember his actions. I think going into season 2 it will be really interesting to see if Klaus actually deals with his guilt.
  • Phil’s leg – that whole thing was too much – it was stupid how they made his leg sort of flat – do we not amputate on kid shows?
  • I really enjoyed Catherine O’Hara’s performance as Dr. Orwell, it was really fun to see her back in the ASOUEverse.
  • The plot twist: Will Arnett and Cobie Smulders were not actually the Baudelaire’s parents – they were the Quagmire’s parents.
  • The ending song was weird and don’t get me wrong I’ve been listening to it on repeat but it sort of didn’t fit with the tone of the show to suddenly be singing.
  • Hey hey hey, the Quagmire triplets I AM HYPED

OVERALL THOUGHTS:

It turns out that I have some pretty mixed feelings about this show, but I think overall I did still really enjoy it!


Did you enjoy season 1, what are your thoughts? Will you guys be watching season 2?

Another Castle: Grimoire [Comic Review]

[Comic Review] Another Castle: Grimoire

January 2017

Another Castle: Grimoire by Andrew Wheeler & Paulina Ganucheau

3/5

I received a free copy from the publisher through NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

A story with brilliant art and a kickass heroine, what more could you ask for?

Things to look out for:

  • The artwork
  • The writing
  • The kickass Heroine
  • Race and sexuality not being used as a plot point

I assumed that I would enjoy this because I’ve heard great things about Ganucheau’s previous works but this comic really went beyond my expectations.

Image result for another castle: grimoire Image result for another castle: grimoire

Paulina Ganucheau’s artwork is adorable and bright. All of the characters look amazing and none of them look the same, they all have their own unique qualities and shapes. Throughout the comic we meet a whole world of different monsters and by the end of the story they end up coexisting with each other. The monster all look astounding, they are all different and they’re not too scary either!

Image result for another castle: grimoire

I also loved the writing, there is no stilted conversation and all of the dialogue sounded natural and like stuff a normal teenager would say. Andrew Wheeler created an impressive, beautiful and strong-willed princess. Misty, the main character of this comic is a princess who is actually trying to defend her kingdom instead of just hanging about and providing support when required.

Something I really loved about this comic and one of Paulina Ganucheau’s other works is the diversity, somics are really stepping up! Not only do we not have an all white, all straight cast but we have humans and monsters in healthy relationships with each other. The characters really make this comic!

Release Date ~ February 28th 2017

 

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[Graphic Novel Review] Decelerate Blue

Decelerate Blue by Adam Rapp 

Rating: 4/5

I received a free copy from the publisher through NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

 “From revolutionary and award-winning playwright Adam Rapp and veteran cartoonist and animator Mike Cavallaro comes a dark, breath-taking new vision of an all-too-plausible future for America.”

Decelerate Blue is set in a new world, a world where everything is done quickly and efficiently. Everything is accelerated.

If you liked The Giver or Fahrenheit 451 I think you would really enjoy this.

“The future waits for no one.”

One day, this famous book called ‘Kick the Boot’ mysteriously finds its way under the main character, Angela’s chair at school. This is a book that inspires rebellion and is supposed to have been destroyed by the Government years ago.

Angela loves the book and after visiting her sick grandfather she goes to collect something from under a tree for him and ends up being dragged into an underground society – a society where everyone is decelerated. No one is running in their sleep or shortening their words.

Angela is recruited into this new society where she feels more at home, like she can finally slow down and be herself. The key to being a part of this movement is to live a life of relaxation and contentment. Everyone is laid back and calm, they read books and stare at cows. What a life, right?

The thing is, everything above ground is hyper and fast, whereas everything below is slow and relaxed.

Above ground, everything is too fast and too hyper. Nobody thinks about what they’re really doing they just want to be fast and to better their guarantee. If they get too slow then they are sent away from the community.

Below ground, everything is different. The society that lives under the ground purposely does everything differently. Everything is slower and more relaxed, which is good but it’s also terribly boring. Sometimes they literally sit around and stare at a cow for hours. This might be just me, but that doesn’t sound like the most fun thing to do, which is really saying something because I love cows.

I think that this story makes it clear that it’s okay to slow down sometimes but it’s also okay to be fast. It sends a good message while letting us enjoy an interesting story.

Sometimes, no matter how good the plot and story is I just can’t get past the artwork. Luckily, this wasn’t the case with this one. I really enjoyed the artwork and thought the black and white really suited the story.

The only negative thing I have to say about the graphic novel is that the romance wasn’t believable. Yes, it was LGBT which was great but the two girls fell in love in under a week. It was a bit weird to read about. Even though the romance was unrealistic it’s not the main focus of the story and isn’t overpowering in any way so please don’t let that deter you from picking up the graphic novel.

This graphic novel is short (around 200 pages) and engaging. I definitely recommend that you give it a go.

 

Decelerate Blue comes out on the 14th of February, 2017.