Hey guys, today I’m coming at you with a long-rambly and completely random, spur of the moment kind of chatty post for you guys. I’ve been neglecting my blog a bit lately, because of school and work and general anxiety and other life problems so today I thought I’d come on here and talk about my life with you guys.
WHAT’S UP? (the ceiling)
Just in general my life has gone from slightly anxiety-inducing & you don’t have time to have a panic attack because you’ve got shit to do to you have too much shit to do so now you’re going to fully shut down. Anywayyy, I have had a lot of my late for the last couple of years and I think it’s all finally come to a head for me and now I’ve just gotten to a state where I’m too tired and unmotivated to do anything other than go to work or support my friends (online, I generally opt-out of irl socials).
But most of all, I’ve gone from going to sleep at 10-11ish at night at the start of the year to roughly 11/midninght to now physically not being able to sleep until past 3am EVERY morning which is absolutely exhausting and really concerning to me because I’ll be working more for the rest of the year and both of my jobs are pretty full on and don’t really have any downtime so I’m going to be even more tired.
Reading – has not been going to plan and I’m sad about it. I would usually be mad but I literally don’t have the energy to be that disappointed in myself so now i’m just sad.
Blogging – has not really been happening and I am SO SORRY
Uni – I am officially on struggle street. My assignments are not getting done anywhere near on time and I’ve found that I’m really struggling with my attention span. I’ve always struggled with paying attention for long periods of time but now I can’t keep my attention on anything for more than 5 or 10 minutes, so considering I’m also naturally a procrastinator, things are going pretty bad on the uni front. Actually, I’m editing this post now and this is the most time I’ve been able to concentrate on just one thing in weeks, which is kind of sad because this was a rather quick post to whip up for me.
Honestly, I wish I could take a break from Uni, but I know that if I defer for a year I literally will never go back so we’re soldiering on, I guess. Honestly, I’ve gotten to the point in my Uni career where I can barely remember why I’m there in the first place, it’s very disheartening.
EVERYTHING I WOULD RATHER BE DOING, BUT INSTEAD I’M IN A LIFE SLUMP
Honestly, I desperately want to sleep, but I literally cannot, so what I would much prefer to be doing is watching Avatar because I’ve never seen it before and it just got put on Aus Netflix so I’m hoping to get to it eventually. Also, I’m SUPER in the mood for classic-time period angst. SO, I’m hoping to rewatch Pride and Prejudice and watch Sanditon, Downton Abbey and North & South for the first time because I’ve heard great things about them all!
Welcome To Night Vale
I’ve also been in a really intense and obsessive mood to listen to Welcome To Night Vale which I’ve listened to a bit before and loved and now suddenly really wanting to get into again because I know that it makes me happy. So, hopefully I can sporadically listen to this every now and then.
READING
I have scheduled my reviews and the books I need to read throughout the year, so I’m not too worried about that, though I am slightly behind. But,Β I want to keep reading the Cassandra Clare books because I’m enjoying writing my reviews and talking more in-depth about the characters. I’m alsoΒ really enjoying buddy reading with Rebecca so I’m hoping to keep doing that next month because honestly talking to Bec makes me really happy which is something I really need in my life since I’m so permanently exhausted all the time.
I also would love to start slowly re-reading and annotating the Harry Potter series in-depth but I just haven’t had the time. I am hoping to read a chapter here and there though because duh it’s HP and it just makes me so happy to be back in that world. Reading does tire me out but I’m hoping that if I just take a minute to calm down and read a few chapters and concentrate on really reading it, I’ll be able to eventually just use it as a coping mechanism with most books. But, I’m really not sure if that’s all that healthy, so we’ll see.
Sorry to hear that you’re struggling so much with anxiety and so much going on in your life. I went through a similar slump a few years ago and it was awful. I get insomnia for about a week once a year (which is weird, but it pretty much has it’s own schedule now) and I listen to sleep stories on the Calm app to help me get to sleep. I usually can’t sleep because my mind is racing and I can’t stop thinking about things, so the stories help me focus on what the narrator is saying, and their voices are super soothing too. I know there are also podcasts that are supposed to help with falling asleep as well. Hope this slump comes to a close soon, and hang in there because it WILL get better!
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Thank you for your comment My sleeping is slowly getting better, but it’s a very slow process! It’s been weeks since I wrote this post but I’ve gone from sleeping at 3a to around 1/2 am which is a lot better for me!
I will definitely check out the Calm app, thank you for suggesting it!
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Hope you will feel better soon!
(www.evelynreads.com)
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Thank you so much!
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“WHATβS UP? (the ceiling)”
THIS IS LITERALLY ME ARE WE THE SAME PERSON I LITERALLY DO THIS ALL THE TIME (what’s up? The sky. What’s up? Iron Man was until endgame.)
And I’ve never heard of a life slump but it’s a big mood.
YOU WILL GET OUT OF THIS SLUMP EVEN IF IT KILLS YOU, OKAY. (ahaha aggressive kindness sorry) YOU WILL BE FINE DO NOT FEEL GUILTY ABOUT IT. FOCUS ALL YOUR REMAINING ENERGY ON THINGS THAT ARE NECESSARY, LIKE WORK OR SCHOOL OR EVEN JUST SHOWERING ONCE IN A WHILE. TRY GOING TO BED WITHOUT DISTRACTION AND MAYBE EVEN EXERCISE IF YOU’RE FEELING ADVENTUROUS. EVEN IF IT’S JUST GOING TO THE FREEZER FOR SOME LETTUCE.
BUT NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS YOU WILL BE FINE. JUST TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF, MAYBE BINGE A COUPLE DOCTOR WHO EPISODES OR SOMETHING. LISTEN TO MOZART (I love Mozart. Like LOVE Mozart) MAYBE JUST WALK AROUND TARGET OR DO SOMETHING TO GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK FROM LIFE (do NOT put yourself in a coma, though. Bad idea)
MAYBE JUST UNPLUG YOUR WIFI AND TURN OFF YOUR DATA, TAKE A BATH, LISTEN TO MOZART, AND EAT A POPSICLE. THEN TAKE A NAP. THEN FOCUS ON THE IMPORTANT THINGS. EVENTUALLY, YOU WILL BE FINE.
AND that’s enough yelling for today have a fantabulous October
*AllONsY*
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SORRY I HAD TO COME BACK AND ADD MORE.
ANYWAY SO FOR THE STRESSED THING: YES, JUST FIND SOME TIME AND TAKE A BREAK. IF YOU CAN’T *ACTUALLY* SLEEP I WOULD SUGGEST MELATONIN (EITHER THE DRINKABLE OR THE PILL, BOTH HAVE WORKED FOR ME) IT CAN GET EXPENSIVE BUT IT’S #WORTHIT. ALSO TURNING OFF YOUR PHONE AND KEEPING IT OUT OF REACH HELPS. TAKE A DAY OFF OF WORK (IF YOU CAN) AND JUST STAY HOME AND DO WHATEVER THE HECK YOU WANT. PREFERABLY SOMETHING RELAXING BUT IF YOU ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO YOU COULD DO A BIT OF WORK. OR BLOG. BUT DO SOMETHING THAT REQUIRES ZERO BRAIN CELLS.
ALSO YES, EXERCISING. TAKE A WALK. LOOK AT THE LEAF CORPSES. GO INTO THE WOODS AND PRETEND YOU AREN’T TERRIFIED.
JUST DO THE BASICS: EAT (NO DORITOS) SLEEP (AGAIN, THE MELATONIN OR JUST LIE IN BED LISTENING TO MOZART OR HAMILTON. (sorry, I just really like mozart) ALSO DO SOMETHING SOCIAL (within reason, I too have anxiety and the last thing I want to do is leave my house) BUT HUMANS ARE SOCIAL BEINGS SO MAYBE MEET UP WITH A FRIEND OR VISIT YOUR GREAT AUNT DARCY. (if you actually have a great aunt Darcy, this was a random name, I promise)
FOOD: EAT HEALTHY. 3 MEALS, HEALTHY STUFF. PROTEIN. FOR EXAMPLE: BREAKFAST: EGGS? (i hate eggs) BACON? (i hate bacon) OATMEAL? (i love oatmeal but it it enough???) BREAKFAST IS ALWAYS TOUGH FOR ME, SO YOU CAN FIGURE OUT WHATEVER WORKS. LUNCH: I LIKE CHICKEN OR A TURKEY SANDWICH OR EVEN A PEANUT BUTTER SANDWICH. SOMETHING THAT FILLS YOU UP. (and I will allow chips xD) DINNER: I LOVE MAC AND CHEESE BUT IT ISN’T HEALTHY BUT I’M ADDING IT ANYWAY. SOME TYPE OF FROZEN MEAL WOULD WORK I USUALLY LIKE AMY’S MAC AND CHEESE (kinda expensive) OR EVEN CHICKEN NUGGETS (ahahahah so healthy lol) JUST EAT SOMETHING THAT FILLS YOU UP AND IS A *BIT* HEALTHY. OKAY FOOD ISN’T MY BEST POINT SO LET’S MOVE ON.
WORK AND SCHOOL: FOCUS ON WHAT’S MOST IMPORTANT. (both are important, yes)
YOU’RE STRUGGLING GETTING STUFF DONE: GET AWAY FROM AS MANY DISTRACTIONS AS PHYSICALLY POSSIBLE. MAYBE EVEN GET A STUDY FRIEND. POSSIBLY TELL YOUR TEACHERS (ew ew ew I HATE talking to teachers it’s terrifying BUT you could literally just add a note to an assignment about how you’re having a slump and just let them know about it so they understand you aren’t just goofing off) AND FOR WORK: IT’S YOUR SOURCE OF MONEY, I KNOW, BUT IF YOU IN ANYWAY CAN, TAKE OFF A CLEANSING DAY AND DO WHATEVER YOU WANT. HAVE A DAY WITHOUT ANYTHING STRESSFUL (if possible)
DON’T COME BACK AND FORCE YOURSELF TO INTERACT ON YOUR BLOG YOU WILL BE FINE WE WILL BE WAITING. IF ANYONE LEAVES, THEY DIDN’T DESERVE TO FOLLOW YOU ANYWAY. DON’T FEEL PRESSURED TO COME BACK *E*V*E*R* YOU DON’T HAVE TO COME BACK. IF IT’S STRESSING YOU OUT DON’T COME BACK, OKAY? I KNOW YOU LOVE IT I CAN FEEL IT THROUGH EVERY POST BUT DON’T ENCOURAGE STRESS TO TAKE OVER. FOCUS ON MORE IMPORTANT THINGS. WE WILL MISS YOU BUT YOUR HEALTH IS MUCH MORE IMPORTANT THAN OUR GRATIFICATION. (I’m talking about blogging, i know talking with us is one of your things, which is 3000% okay) (but don’t feel stressed if you’re not posting, I totally understand)
ALSO, LET ME JUST RECOMMEND THIS AGAIN: DOCTOR WHO. OR FAR FROM HOME (it’s finally on DVDDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!! That one scene makes me SO HAPPY omg) BUT IT SERIOUSLY PUTS ME IN A GOOD MOOD EVERYTIME. (or just watch something else but I’m just giving you advice about stuff that works for me)
ALSO I TRY TO HELP OTHER PEOPLE AND IT GENERALLY HELPS ME FEEL BETTER (like volunteering makes me happy… I used to teach preschoolers and it was the best thing)
ALSO, THIS SLUMP WILL PASS AND YOU WILL COME BACK FLAMING. YOU WILL ACE YOUR MIDTERMS AND YOU WILL BE INVIGORATED. YOU WILL BE FINE. DON’T WORRY.
so BASICALLY, TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF.
I’M A CHRISTIAN SO I WILL ALSO BE PRAYING FOR YOU (if you’re comfortable with it, of course)
ANNNNNNNNdddd I really need to stop yelling so let’s end it here. I’M HERE FOR YA.
*AlLoNsY*
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Thank you so much! I know you wrote this comment a while ago, but know that I read it as soon as it appeared and it helped me tremendously! I’ve had a very rough year and it’s been getting rougher, but your comment has truly helped me! πππ
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I’m glad I could help and I’M GLAD YOu’RE GETTING BETTER!!!!! ππ
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β€β€β€
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I’m so sorry you’re struggling. Hugs to you! For me, if I’m in a slump, I take a break from whatever it is. I’ve taken hiatuses from the blog for up to a month to recharge. I’m currently back in a good groove, now that I’ve gotten more adjusted to my new job.
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Thank you! β€β€
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I’m sorry to hear your going through a life slump – they are the ACTUAL WORST! I went through a seriously slump back in April when I started living alone so I know how hopeless the struggle can feel. At least you are not alone, despite how things might feel. These slumps happen the the best of us and they have a way of eventually working out. Keep that chin up!
Much love, Alexandra β€
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Thank you! πβ€π
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OH HON!! I TOTALLLYYYY understand what you are going through. Sometimes it all just gets TOOO overwhelming and the body and mind seems ready to quit! And ITS ALRIGHTTTT!! don’t you feel
guilty about it! These slumps can be a real bitch but ONLY IF YOU LET THEM PLAY ON YOUR MIND.. you ENJOY this slumps and IT WILL GO AWAYYY!! ππππβ€οΈβ€οΈβ€οΈ
Now,I TOTALLLYYYY SUPPORT YOUR DECISION OF REWATCHING Pride and Prejudice!! There is nothing Mr. Darcy can’t fix!! AND SANDITON;?!?!? I recently got to know about it and I am EAGER TO START WATCHING IT ASAPP!! AND North and South too!! Richard Armitage looks ππππππβ€οΈβ€οΈβ€οΈβ€οΈ
AND DOWNTON ABBEY! Soo much love for this series!! I HAVE WATCHED IT COUNTLESS TIMES AND I NEVER TIRE OF IT! ππππ€©π€©π€©π₯°π₯°π₯°β₯οΈβ₯οΈβ€οΈβ€οΈβ€οΈ You are GOING TO FUCKING LOVE IT I AM TELLING YOUUUUUUU!! β€οΈβ€οΈ
You are going to get back more refreshed that EVERRR but YOU HAVE GOT TO EMBRACE IT OKAYYY?!?! These slumps feed off of guilt and you GOT TO STARVE IT BY ENJOY THE FUCK OUT OF UT, OKIIIEEEEEE!?!?!!? ππππβ€οΈβ€οΈβ€οΈβ€οΈ
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Thank you so much for your comment! β€
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Yep, I feel this deep in my sole. This time of year I always just want to give up on all of my obligations and just binge read/watch tv/waste my life away.
But thank you for the reminder that I REALLY need to watch Avatar now that it’s on Netflix Aus.
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Thank you for your comment!
I just started watching Avatar yesterday and I’ already on season 2 lol! It’s so good! ππ
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