Hey guys, today I’m coming at you with a long-rambly and completely random, spur of the moment kind of chatty post for you guys. I’ve been neglecting my blog a bit lately, because of school and work and general anxiety and other life problems so today I thought I’d come on here and talk about my life with you guys.
WHAT’S UP? (the ceiling)
Just in general my life has gone from slightly anxiety-inducing & you don’t have time to have a panic attack because you’ve got shit to do to you have too much shit to do so now you’re going to fully shut down. Anywayyy, I have had a lot of my late for the last couple of years and I think it’s all finally come to a head for me and now I’ve just gotten to a state where I’m too tired and unmotivated to do anything other than go to work or support my friends (online, I generally opt-out of irl socials).
But most of all, I’ve gone from going to sleep at 10-11ish at night at the start of the year to roughly 11/midninght to now physically not being able to sleep until past 3am EVERY morning which is absolutely exhausting and really concerning to me because I’ll be working more for the rest of the year and both of my jobs are pretty full on and don’t really have any downtime so I’m going to be even more tired.
Reading – has not been going to plan and I’m sad about it. I would usually be mad but I literally don’t have the energy to be that disappointed in myself so now i’m just sad.
Blogging – has not really been happening and I am SO SORRY
Uni – I am officially on struggle street. My assignments are not getting done anywhere near on time and I’ve found that I’m really struggling with my attention span. I’ve always struggled with paying attention for long periods of time but now I can’t keep my attention on anything for more than 5 or 10 minutes, so considering I’m also naturally a procrastinator, things are going pretty bad on the uni front. Actually, I’m editing this post now and this is the most time I’ve been able to concentrate on just one thing in weeks, which is kind of sad because this was a rather quick post to whip up for me.
Honestly, I wish I could take a break from Uni, but I know that if I defer for a year I literally will never go back so we’re soldiering on, I guess. Honestly, I’ve gotten to the point in my Uni career where I can barely remember why I’m there in the first place, it’s very disheartening.
EVERYTHING I WOULD RATHER BE DOING, BUT INSTEAD I’M IN A LIFE SLUMP
Honestly, I desperately want to sleep, but I literally cannot, so what I would much prefer to be doing is watching Avatar because I’ve never seen it before and it just got put on Aus Netflix so I’m hoping to get to it eventually. Also, I’m SUPER in the mood for classic-time period angst. SO, I’m hoping to rewatch Pride and Prejudice and watch Sanditon, Downton Abbey and North & South for the first time because I’ve heard great things about them all!
Welcome To Night Vale
I’ve also been in a really intense and obsessive mood to listen to Welcome To Night Vale which I’ve listened to a bit before and loved and now suddenly really wanting to get into again because I know that it makes me happy. So, hopefully I can sporadically listen to this every now and then.
I have scheduled my reviews and the books I need to read throughout the year, so I’m not too worried about that, though I am slightly behind. But, I want to keep reading the Cassandra Clare books because I’m enjoying writing my reviews and talking more in-depth about the characters. I’m also really enjoying buddy reading with Rebecca so I’m hoping to keep doing that next month because honestly talking to Bec makes me really happy which is something I really need in my life since I’m so permanently exhausted all the time.
I also would love to start slowly re-reading and annotating the Harry Potter series in-depth but I just haven’t had the time. I am hoping to read a chapter here and there though because duh it’s HP and it just makes me so happy to be back in that world. Reading does tire me out but I’m hoping that if I just take a minute to calm down and read a few chapters and concentrate on really reading it, I’ll be able to eventually just use it as a coping mechanism with most books. But, I’m really not sure if that’s all that healthy, so we’ll see.