my rating: ★★★★★
tags: lgbt, contemporary, young adult
goodreads rating: 4.11
In the months after his father’s suicide, it’s been tough for sixteen-year-old Aaron Soto to find happiness again—but he’s still gunning for it. With the support of his girlfriend Genevieve and his overworked mom, he’s slowly remembering what that might feel like. But grief and the smile-shaped scar on his wrist prevent him from forgetting completely.
When Genevieve leaves for a couple of weeks, Aaron spends all his time hanging out with this new guy, Thomas. Aaron’s crew notices, and they’re not exactly thrilled. But Aaron can’t deny the happiness Thomas brings or how Thomas makes him feel safe from himself, despite the tensions their friendship is stirring with his girlfriend and friends. Since Aaron can’t stay away from Thomas or turn off his newfound feelings for him, he considers turning to the Leteo Institute’s revolutionary memory-alteration procedure to straighten himself out, even if it means forgetting who he truly is.
Why does happiness have to be so hard?
Suicide, Attempted Suicide, Depression, Homophobia, Domestic Abuse
I think I’m in love with Adam Silvera’s writing? Seriously, his books are so good and so thought-provoking. Like They Both Die At The End, I really had to sleep this one off, there was a lot of pacing involved.
This is also a really great friendship book. I really enjoyed the relationship between Aaron and Thomas, they had a really lovely storyline.
I feel like I have been hearing about this book for half of my life so I am honestly so glad I have finally read it. Adam Silvera seems like such a cool guy, that he is mostly the reason I picked up his books in the first place. I think this guy might even be getting me into contemporary books, I am slightly more excited to pick them up now!
His books are completely depressing but for some reason, I keep picking them up. This was also such an interesting read because I live such a different life to Aaron, the main character. Aaron is gay and he lives in the Bronx, the complete opposite to myself. While I am on the lgbt scale, I am still straight, and while I am by no means loaded and ready to burn some cash, I do have a much better living situation. I will say though, while this book didn’t have as big an impact on me as it did many others, it did give me an appreciation what I have.
While I’m on it I actually wanted to talk about the “impact” the novel has had on other readers. For me, it wasn’t a big shock and I had seen pretty much everything coming from a mile off, but I was still left crying by the final page. You would think that was all though, right? Well, no I don’t think it is.
Like I said before, I am straight, so the way I see it, this book can only have so much of an effect on me, compared to someone who is gay or bisexual. I know from watching her review, that Cece from ProblemsOfaBookNerd struggled a lot with reading this book. She has suffered homophobia and so from what I can remember, that contributed a lot to her enjoyment of the book and how well she coped with it.
One thing I will say for anyone who hasn’t read a Silvera novel is this:
His books are hard-hitting and unrelenting. Nothing is sugarcoated so if you don’t think you can handle any of the trigger warnings than maybe don’t pick it up. I had, of course, heard that this book was sad, and even after hearing people talk about this book for 3 years, I didn’t understand the effect Adam Silvera’s words would have on me.
My one issue with the book: SPOILERS
Isn’t trying to make someone gay the same as trying to make someone straight? Please tell me if I’m completely wrong but this was something that irritated me throughout the entire book. While I was reading this book the main character keeps trying to pressure Thomas into coming out even though he’s straight. Even in the last ten or so pages Aaron was finally accepting that Thomas was straight but then he was all like “Nah he’s in denial” and I lost my shit, Even if Thomas wasn’t straight Aaron should know not to pressure Thomas into coming out.
Quotes I enjoyed:
- “Some stories leave off without an ending. Life doesn’t always deliver the one you would expect.”
- “I would do my damn best to be more happy than not.”
- “You don’t get to keep ignoring the past because you don’t like it.”
- SO SAD WHAT THE HELL ADAM
- A great read, be prepared
Have you read MHTN? Are you a fan of Silvera’s novels?